The Loving Heart Centre

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The Act of Me Saying Sorry

A.

"Well dear LORD,
I belong to You and so everything I do is Your fault which latter of course is not possible.
But, I forgot to give My feelings to You.
And now since I belong to You, I am not able to give you anything further.
So, My feelings are always tender, maybe always a little tearful that I did not give You more
and always of love to you, as always adjusted to whatever is possible for them to be whatever you so wish."

B.You know when a woman surrenders herself to a man, or a man surrenders himself to Lord Vishnu, He can read their soul.
And this wish to surrender is either genuine or not.
If it is genuine, He ensures that all goes well for the man or woman who surrenders, and that it is done to perfection. For example a gift is a gift and cannot be revoked.
If a man subsequently rejects the gift, with Him such will never happen, He ensures that the woman is
in at least a better position than before, and that the man soon is in a very very regretful mode of thinking.

So, yes it is true that a woman or man who has surrendered will still have an independent functioning mind,
it is just that it has a new owner, in the case of a woman, one who cannot read his new property,
her mind. So he or she may express sentiments such as the one above.

Good things happen when such nice truthful but seemingly unnecessary thoughts are expressed.

For example, there is nowadays Western poison in everybody's eyes.
Crying may bring it out ready for disposal.
He can do 1 million things to make the above sorry well rewarded.

C. Here are two things that a good person can do to help his or her eyes deal with poison.
It so happens that the exact same two movements are ill advised for a person with evil intent.
If He wanted it the other way around or a different way around it would happen.

Lie on your bed, relax with your legs crossed. Wait a minute. Then sit up.
As you sit up, your eyes flare open which is good for good people and bad for others.
Sit up and lie back 4 times. It is not easy. If necssary, stretch out your legs when coming up.
If He wants this to be easy for you, you could easily do 2000 with no dificulty.
However the effort of trying to sit up is good and so He does not change His laws on this account usually.
Now lie back with your legs crossed simply, it is good for some people's groins and legs and heart.
For most people it is not perfectly easy to do. Do not go to the loo.
For most people this is not easy.
Stay for 5 minutes with your legs crossed, feet near your bottom and knees splayed to either side.

D. Incidentally, nowadays it is fashionable to bang your head or jerk it from side to side
or up and down. Football. Jogging. Running. Swimming. Boxing. Banging against brick wall if you lost at tennis.
Or just jerking to one side if you feel discomfort.
It was good for you because everything that happens is good for you in terms of developing love.
Now, at the moment you are reading this, I tell you that such is bad for you.
This means, surprise surprise that from NOW on it is bad for you. And what is bad?
It means that you will suffer pain if you disobey.
And if you disobey, that is good for you because you will suffer pain needed to bring love to you,
and such would not have happened otherwise.
And if you OBEY that is also good for you because then love will happen with greater intensity or quicker etc.
If you want pain, disobey. And it so happens that if you are a good person you will not disobey.

E. Anyways, now do the other side for 5 minutes, with the other foot under. Now sit up.
A good person will for example fail first attempt, feel sorry and then breathe in
and redouble his effort to sit up again, feeling sorry that he or she did not obey Me.

So he seems to do two evils, not sit up when I say sit up and next try and sit up when I have not told him to sit up.

And because he is good, I count it as obeying Me, even though he/she did not.
F. Now sit up, go down 5 times. When down relax, do not immediately sit up.
In order to come up, take a deep breath in and hold the breath and be determined to come up, determined to obey. What may happen, for example is that you forget to count one time,
or you come up immediately without thinking, or you forget to breathe in.
This is obedience, if your soul intended to obey. Now do the same thing 20 times.
If you have been struggling and not succeeding to sit up, use your hands to help you,
to minimum extent possible. Feel sorry if you disobey. Be determined to obey.

It is not real easy to be doing this now 30 times.
G. Take a breath, relax, pull all your forces together and then lie back, up and down 20 times,
waiting in between. Smile. Be happy that someone who loves you is taking care of you.
Be determined to obey and also to return a gift of your own.
Feel sorry that that gift may not be as valuable as all that. If you are good, you are wrong,
your gift will be treasured. Feel sorry that you are yet again wrong.
Now, you have been making a noise to come up. Did I tell you to make a noise? Keep going.
Tears should come to your eyes for yet another wrong you have done.
Which tears will be rewarded by something good. Keep going.
Now, you have closed your eyes to come up. Did I tell you to close your eyes?
You feel absolutely gutted, sorry beyond measure to learn that yet again you have sinned.
Tears come to your eyes which are good for them.
Then you sit forward on your bottom before going back, because your head is starting to go over the bed.
You feel sorry. Try again, you have lost count. So you ask how many more please should I do. Sin.
I did not ask you to talk. You are about to go down when you realize I have not asked you to go down yet.
Your heart lifts a little. Now another 16. Do it. You make a sound just before you start. Sin.
Sorry.
When you are down you make a sound. And your tummy starts to go up and down even more than before.
Two sins. Two sorries? No, peace is coming to your heart. And then I say, did I ask for you to do this?
And more tears. Anyways, now keep going, do the best you can, I am not going to count your sins until you finish.
Well, not too too bad. A little sound even though I told you not to.
A little moisture in your eyes even though I did not tell you.
You did a few more than 20 because you lost count, even though I did not tell you.

H. Did you know that an American marine aged 20 fully fit will struggle with 20.
I am training you to join the INDIAN ARMY.
If I had asked you to do 50, not 20, most of you would have managed,
but I did not ask because I do not like to unnecessarily break the laws of physics that I created.

When you are at peace and in love anything is possible.

Strange that your tummy orgasms stopped when I asked why you had moved your tummy and told you it was wrong.
Anyways for .01% obeying My instructions I award you 0.001% additional of My love.
Are you happy with that?
And the first thought comes to your mind, if I am given .001% I am damned well going to give 5% back.
And since that is what your soul wants, I permit it. Which means it happens.

And then you have a slight dull ache in the temples. It is from crying without permission.
And strange that you have not gone to loo yet. So your headache lifts, almost fully.

I. Another 5.Cross your legs the other way. Your tummy bounces with orgasm and then that stops.
A little wetness comes to your eyes and you automatically touch gently your thumb and index finger,
slight gentle rubbing.
And also a couple of other fingers. I, Lord Vishnu (not here Shyam) gets orgasm when
someone who loves Me touches their skin gently, maybe with wetness in their eyes.
And because you have given Me orgasm, I give you, really for your soul, orgasm,
but it also cleanses your mind of dirt.

And then you do not know why, you stop the touching. And you feel a little peaceful.
And then without thinking about it you again explore your fingers, this time even more gently sensitively, than before.

And for some people they get a few more orgasms where they need them, in the brain etc.
And then I wish but do not tell you 'Let peace be with you today'.

So no more orgasms, but you feel peaceful, a little headache because you did not obey perfectly.
It of course is good for you.Slightly shook up because near 40 sit ups with your legs crossed is not easy.

Not too easy for 80 year old fat ladies, for example.

And then, some milk, chocolate or what you want, vegetarian, and loo.
J. Every 2/4 legged feeling being on earth will become perfect for Me, just as I am perfect for you.
But, I married Shyam and I will not marry you.

K. The picture above is what I like to see. Not perfect, but some honesty, niceness, peacefulness.
Not stunning, not beautiful breasts, it does not matter to Me. I am not like Shyam. I am a woman.
I do what I want in My kingdom and I wanted Shyam so I changed Myself to suit Him.
Shyam is My world. He wants it, I give it to Him. And the only thing He wants is to make Me happy...
Which He does, perfectly. And actually, He does what He wants in His kingdom. I am His, which does not make Him happy for which I am ever sorry.

L. Says Shyam. Fuck. I screwed up bad this time as ever.
I am so so glad that I am boss. It is what I always wanted except for Him. Is this a good day?

Now listen here good folks of the world.
I am a man. I do not take 20,000 million years deciding about things.
My mind it is clean, good and honest. I take decisions in 2 seconds, give or take.
Girls, you cum with a nice man, or maybe Me I do not know. And even more important you love him and him alone.
Boys, you go and fall in love with Lady Vishnu with a clean pure heart and you do as Lord/Lady Vishnu tells you.

Me I am a nice Jewish boy, brought up Christian by a woman. I do what She says unless I decide otherwise.

M. I am sticking around as I promised. Maybe settle in USA and find a nice California girl, I take each day as it comes, nice and easy with fun and happiness. And one day I kinda hope to be face to face with Lord and or maybe in (the presence of) Lady Vishnu, or whatever is possible.
Of course, I will always be grateful to Lord Vishnu for accepting Me in marriage.
It was damned damned kind of Him. Fuck.
Good wishes and love to all of you
Shyam

PS.
M. Well you probably realized that I was a touch upset with what My Love She wrote.
Obviously I KNOW for absolute certain that ANYTHING she says or does is for GOOD.
In My heart I belong to Him I mean Her, but it does not mean I do not have feelings.
Well even now, 5 hours later, after I have figured things out I am not real real happy.

So anyways, I had a little nap to recover
(when you have poison in you as we all do, you need more sleep than even 2 years ago).
Then I did some exercise looking at pics. I think I proved to Myself that I was still a man.

When I surrendered Myself to Lord Vishnu in 2001, it was not a conditional surrender. I did not say,
I surrender to you, but prove to Me that you are male first, I surrendered without thinking any thoughts
about Him being good or bad or male or anything. I just did the best I could of giving Myself to Him.

N. So let us look at what My Love said:

1. She said He turned Himself into a woman, for Me. Well that makes absolutely no difference to Me at all.
What My owner does or does not do is entirely His/Her call. It is none of My business.
It did not cause Me to cry.

2. Next She says "And actually, He does what He wants in His kingdom."
Well, I am most happy to do what I want which is forever to do what She wants.
At first sight it is not nice to hear this, but I know the truth, which is that I do My level
best to do what He/She wants, NOT "what I want" even if these happen as of course they do as in any good marriage to coincide.
It is the last few words which make Her statement true "in His Kingdom", since I do not have a kingdom, all My property I gave to Him/Her.

3. Then She says "I am His, which does not make Him happy for which I am ever sorry."
Well, what My owner does is entirely up to Her.
It is not My business, but of course, I do have feelings, so again Her statement is 'entirely' true, assuming She is telling the truth.
What woman ever tells the truth, it is an unheard of proposition.

4. But there is another, hidden aspect, which makes what She says palatable to Me. God is the One who takes decisions, not you or Me.
We may have a wish or desire or want. Obviously He/She knows what this is. It is then He/She who DECIDES everything subsequently.
We have no independent decision making capability.
For example, you might wish for some icecream, assuming you have not yet perfectly surrendered yourself.
It is then up to our Lord to decide whether you shall have it or not.
He does this on the basis of what is good for your love journey.
If you decided such matters you would make a complete hash of things.

5. When I pleaded with Him in 2001 to please accept Me, I did not do any decision making.
He decided to accept Me and from then on I was His.
He is not one to mess with this most important of all desires in one's life,
give you to another man or whatever as a human man might do to a woman of his.
I gave My gift with full love and He accepted it as such.

6. So when She says "I am His" it does NOT at all mean that She has rejected you
and that you are not Hers. She as always decides.

7. Also whatever I said when I was a little unhappy was also true.
I said "I take decisions in 2 seconds.."
The English meaning of this is NOT some abstract discussion of who is boss etc. but it simply means
"I have some wish or desire etc. eg about this matter and 2 seconds later I relay or will relay to you THE decision".
And of course, in My case, the answer is 'yes' to anything I wish,
but the actual implementation is too complicated for someone of My limited intelligence
and so She decides that too, to My perfect satisfaction.

O. I would also like if I may to inject a little bit of common sense into the reader.
Not necessarily silica gel into your nipples, please understand. When Lord Vishnu says:

1. "The picture above is what I like to see. Not perfect, but some honesty, niceness, peacefulness.
Not stunning, not beautiful breasts, it does not matter to Me.
I am not like Shyam. I am a woman."

Now what do you think intelligent reader, is this complete multiple lies from start to finish?
Why would Lord Vishnu like to see ugliness?

It will never ever happen. "Not perfect". "some honesty". "niceness". "peacefulness". Complete total bollocks.

"Not stunning" "not beautiful breasts". WHY would He put them there, deliberate malice,
even if one cannot in these two instances only disagree with the actual statement.

"it does not matter to Me". What male does such abhorrence not matter to?

Next let us be generous and simply say 'twaddle' is "I am not like Shyam".
Seemingly true statement, but you have to remember that Lord Vishnu is Indian, not English,
His command of the English language, I do not know whether you have ever been to India, is let us simply say 'not good'.

He means by the word 'am', the word 'do'. The full sentence is 'I do not like Shyam'.
It is actually quite astonishing that He remembers My name. I must be due some particular punishment.

Then we get to 'I am a woman'.
Well what can I say other than 'behaves like' or 'would like to be' or even worse 'probably is'

2. Next "He wants it, I give it to Him. And the only thing He wants is to make Me happy..."
Now, more complete falsehoods I have possibly never seen.

When exactly did He give Me 1 woman per night for the last 50 years?
What exactly does it mean 'I give it to Him?' Is this hostile threat or what?
And then 'And the only thing He wants..'! Is this a true statement or what?
Am I that foolish? I let you the reader decide on that one.

3. It gets into the completely completely possibly ridiculous, farcical:

"I am His, which does not make Him happy for which I am ever sorry."

I am His'. Jeepers, an English expression for One who with hostility perhaps put a beetle into My room.
Now what do you think intelligent reader, if Lord Vishnu said to you
I am yours, at your service day AND night', would you be happy?

And then the final statement 'for which I am ever sorry'.

Well, no more messing, I am gutted if true.

Or is He a woman? Who with glee in Her mind deliberately deliberately with possibly much malice, casts aspersions on the manhood
of One who loves Her,
causes Him to have almost suicidal FEELINGS, treads on them,
step by step almost causes Him heartbreak,
and the only sorrow is that She cannot perhaps cum? for ever
yours
Beetle hater

and of course real sorry if anything said done etc. upset etc. the woman in the picture and also My Loved One.
And you the reader too.

P. You know, in My life, I have really tried to give friendship and love and happiness to everyone I meet or not meet.
And in 99.9999% or whatever cases it is repaid with rudeness or much worse.
Of course Lord Vishnu excepted.

Even dogs in the street, I wave My hand at them and often run away in fear.
What harm am I going to do to a dog?

Virtually every encounter is with evil. police, wives, indian govt, consular officials,
google, samsung, icici bank, yoga teachers, my mum, dad, hotels,..
I loved Ganesh, Krishna, Rama, Sita, Hanuman, Amma from Kerala, men,women, children
and one by one Lord Vishnu gave Me life experiences to show them up as evil.
I love America, I love Japan, Chinese yellow people who do not know whether they are having chalk or milk.

This all is going to change.
Q. The only exception in 64 years was about April '17, I went to Delhi airport small coffee shop where
a woman, she touched My hand.

I cannot exactly remember, maybe I had ordered a croissant to eat, not sure, and her hand/fingers lingered on mine.
It was a gentle toch. Maybe there was sex on her mind, I do not think so, it was just kindness.
And of course she touched My heart.

Of course she will remember Me, and I owe her a special debt of gratitude.

R. And I have an inexhaustible supply of love, no evil can ever touch Me.
You should never fear love.
You may not feel well and think oh, I do not want to meet love today,
or I do not want to be touched by him, I am too delicate,
I have a headache, but love will heal you, not disturb you.
You should swiftly avoid everything Western as much as possible.

S. I have been writing this web site since 2001.
It only takes Me about 30 minutes or so to write an article, and with 200 or so articles,
100 hours or 5 days, it should have been completed.
But rather it took total over 16 years about 23,000 hours.
My life was just packed with experience after experience of contact with evil.
And of course, goodness wiĺl always win over evil anyday, just takes time.

T. I want to be holding a woman's hand or doing who knows what mischief in heaven,
not messing about with evil writing.

U. The above article well I wrote some maybe true or maybe not completely true things
about My Lord, about the woman in the picture.
But, writing talking is such that you do not know what goes on in another's mind.
So afterwards, I lie down and My skin is not real sensitive because I am anxious that
My written word may be misconstrued and I will have hurt someone, maybe even Him or is it Her,
the opposite of love.

V. So I think, I would like to give My loving touch to My Lord, but cannot do it, because I have been involved with evil, writing.
So He makes My skin sensitive.
And then I say, it would be nice if I could see you.
It does not really matter to Me, all I want is to make Him happy, anything else I do not mind,
but I am human and appreciate nice things.

So, I touch My nipples and wow, I see the most beautiful sky with blue and yellow clouds,
it is difficult for Me to describe its beauty. Real real nice.
And then I think is this Him or part of Him? And of course it is NOT.
But He touched My heart giving Me this.

W. Net net, it does not matter whether something is beautiful or male or female,
it is kindness and such that is the important thing to focus on,
and specifically you giving it.

X. 11.32 pm. And then to round off an almost terrible day, something truly AWFUL happens.
Quite possibly I will have nightmares when I go to sleep in a few hours' time.
My Lord He puts an Indian caterpillar or similar into My room.
Vengeance, spite, probably because of what I said about Her or is it Him, or more
likely just to maybe terrify Me for NO REASON AT ALL other than My existence.

NOW IF I WAS INDIAN ARMY I WOULD BE BRAVE AND RUN AND THEN HIDE INSIDE MAMA'S SARI.

Instead, I will quiver with RAGE, hope it is poisonous and bites like a scorpion
AND then hunt them down, inside sari and then pop it into their mouthes with FEAR

In case they try KILLING me yet again. Are these wankers not able to do anything right?

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