The Loving Heart Centre

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How to entertain a man

Or a woman.

A walk on the wild side (remember that song?)


"Your most recent payment for Kraken.io of $5.00 was declined."
I am so sorry about this. I have never heard of Kraken.io,
maybe Icici bank stole the Rs 350 or so in My account.

I grew up on My own. Maybe once My dad took Me to the Gateway of India.
Occassionally, it is true things happened...
We once went to Matheran (near Mumbai), in those days in 1958,
it was just a divinely lovely place.
I painted, no idea how I got paint brush, in My opinion, I was 5,
an actually really superb even compared with adults, painting, night sky with stars etc.
My mum loved this painting so threw it away.
Ours was a rich family from Gujarat, but My dad was the black sheep of the family
(well actually the others were just as bad) and did not have much money.
Mostly he was when not working messing around with other women.
My sister (31 12 1954, with a hip size like that you can understand
I had virtually nothing to do with her),
God alone knows what she was doing, but not wanking.
My mum, no idea what she was doing on her own in her room.
We did not have toys, no TV, ..
Well once I had a little boat about 4 inches long 10 cm, which I put on a puddle.
So what did I do? 1 step to right, 3 steps back, 2 steps to left,..15/7.
Well about once per month My mum would give Me a few paise to go and
get 'grandmother's hair' in a small sweetie shop down the road.
In those days Indian sweets were nice.
Fortunately for Me masala dosa had not been invented in Mumbai.
So about 15 minutes lunch etc. and then 1 step backward..
This is adult male. You look at a tiger, or mouse, and that is all they do.
Well, I mean they do make love once in a while, but they sleep, eat 15 minutes and
then 2 steps to right etc.
They have a peaceful contented mind which was what mine was.Ie zero mind.
I entertained myself, with Lord Vishnu's guidance. 1 step backwards..

Anyways, here in Kerala I have nearly 400 vids to entertain Me, plus photos..
Of course I cannot watch them because My tablet is a SAMSUNG one
and therefore switches itself off every 3 minutes and
I have to wait about 10 minutes for it to power up to 3% battery.
But I have plenty of chocolate, there is also a shower.
Really I need about 1 woman every hour or so, so that I can compare and say,
oh this one's nipple is about .1 cm (.04 ins) higher than that one's, is that not interesting?
Obviously Lord Vishnu is clever so We crack jokes etc., but do you want to
crack jokes 24/7 or dance 24/7 or exercise 24/7 or get excited 24/7?
The answer to ALL these questions is He gives you PERFECT experience for your development.
So today He says, 'hold My hand' and I say where the hell is your Hand?
And He says it is 'holding your hand', ie My hand.
So time stops and I am happy.

Well a while later, He asks Me, what do I want?
And, of course I say, I have no wants.
Then He says "what do you not want?"
And I say 'I do not want constant war in My life battling against women, men, Samsung, airtel, icicibank, and everybody I come across'.
And then He says 'do you want the website as it is at present?'
And I say, 'I could not care less'.
And then He says 'all war it ceases in 107 years max'
And I say 'wow that is really wonderful news, I am so grateful to you for fulfilling
all My wishes so soon, like virtually immediately for You'.

Anyway, how to entertain a man (or woman, not child). This I think ought to do it.
1. He sits and spreads his legs and then lies back. Relax.
2. Ask him to sit up. Oh dear, why not have some chocolate? ok dear.
3. I think you should clean your eyes out. ok dear.
4. Now go to the loo and wee wee. 'But I do not..' Just do it dear, do it for me. Ok dear.
5. Sit. ok dear.
6. Spread your legs. ok dear.
7. Lie back. ok dear.
8. Oh please put fan on I think you are hot. ok dear.
9. Sit. ok dear.
10.Spread y


I am feeling a touch on the sore and sleepy side just now. Trust Me. I really am.
I will try continuing with this soon.
Anyways, My ankles feel sore, and toes, and back and thighs and groins and
arms and eyes and head
and penis and forearms, and lower abdomen.
I did sleep for a little while, afternoon nap. Then I woke up, with My man erect.
And I could not
really get into a comfortable position to continue My nap.

I said 'um dearest would you mind if I sat out what is coming next?'
She says anyone who does not do the following gets an electric shock with no
permanent damage until such time as he or she (not children) do do it.

Oh great I say.
10. Spread your legs.
11
I get up and slowly walk to the bathroom, wash out some poison from My eyes,
do wee wee, and have 2 toffees. Then I lie down to rest, other side.
My abdomen is still going up and down.
You know how a lion roars? Well I am whimpering.
Every breath, kid you not is the first part of the 'ho ho' song, something
like "hu" sometimes "ahucmh", not sure of the correct spelling.
I started on this at 11.34 am. Now is 5.23.
In My inbox is a pic of Gal Godot, with nipple showing through her blouse.
So I open this up, and guess what? nothing.
Anyways, I go to toilet again, again clean out My eyes and have some chocolate.
Later I will need to go and get some milk, and more chocolate.
She says to Me that I will feel ok after second go, but that it is
inadvisable to give up half way through.
I trust her.
All above is true.
I had another little nap. The list of aches I gave above is not complete.
My upper abdomen, ears, upper arms..
I am soon going to get in some provisions
(chocolate and milk for next 1 day, 3 litres milk, plus box of chocs).
You might want to do same but I am not sure when I will have finished the instructions,
so you should not start unless you see the words "end of world" at bottom of article.
You know, I am pretty much back to normal now, 6.14.
Last few days when going for a walk no sweat was coming off Me,
but today some did so I just now had a shower.(I did not today smell nice).
There really was rather a lot of poison on My scalp and I scratched and scratched and
most is now off. The poison coming out of My eyes that I mentioned above is also down
on what it has been, and My toes are also free of most poison.
I ran also the shower on the nape of My neck (back of neck) for a while.
I think it was the scalp poison that made Me feel not so good.
The aches I got today as set out above are far less than I used to get in one of
Mr BKS Iyengar's classes 20, 30, 40 or 50 years ago.
And I struck lucky on My inbox: I looked at the pic of Jennifer Lawrence,
and searched just a little and found one, as above.
I will continue now after getting My provisions.

Well quite an adventure. I was walking towards the siva temple and
scratched myself on the throat, as one does.
Horrible dark stuff came off, like I was from Karnataka.
I do not know whether you know the story about siva,
how he drank from the ocean and his throat became dark.
It was pure fiction, in those days there was virtually virtually no poison in the sea.
So next I hear temple music, at first it was soft and nice, like to tempt you.
And then it became Hard, loud, offensive.
It was about I think a muslim god called ishewara, which translated is "I she war". She got it.
(Ishwara is the normal spelling of the Hindu name for God, but it should be spelt as I have done).
I ask shopkeeper for softest toffee he has and it was 'Chelsea' toffee, a part of London, England.
When I grew up, I actually came from a place called Enfield, a little North of London proper,
a quiet then nice place in the middle of nowhere, famous for the Enfield rifle.
There was no crime in Enfield then, on the surface.
But Chelsea is and was a posh, rich part of London,
where princesses put flowers in their hair (remember the Beach Boys song?).
When the British came to India the Indian Hindus wanted to be raped,
and become rich and marry British men,
STRONG, HANDSOME, INTELLIGENT, WITH LINGUISTIC SKILLS AND RICH.
So they started to put flowers in their hair, with attractive coloured saris
in place of the traditional plain.
They wanted British MEN (please note that for this purpose I am British),
just as much as British men liked to and did rape them.
Of course nowadays most men do not actually come from England,
and only in some cities do they wear short skirts etc,
those cities where there are foreigners about.
Only later did Chelsea, Goa, Pune etc. become hippy paradise (for Western men).
Anyways, the soft toffee is for the Indian dogs I feed,
I do not want them to hurt their possibly delicate teeth on hard Indian toffee.
But, just feeding those dogs made Me sweat. I am not 100% back to normal,
and when I had a shower, to clean off Karnataka skin colour,
rather a lot of poisoned skin had again accumulated on My scalp.
My nostrils, ears were clear. Just front throat and scalp.

A little nap, it is now 21.05. Man first.
11. Spread your legs apart and lie back.
12. Sit up. You yank his right leg far to the to right, then go to other side and
yank his left leg far apart.
(if a woman, gently and deliberately take one leg and draw it back,
if she says "STOP" in English, then do not take her leg back further).
13. Lie. He does not do it (unusual that). Push him down.
(if a woman, assist her down by catching hold of her shoulders and slowly
deliberately moving her down).
14. Next show kiddies how to maniplulate his penis. Open it max, and place your
hand around it, so the palm is in contact with the top head of the penis.
Up and down until he is hard. Slow, quiet, on and on. Ever
If no kiddies you do it to him. If you are single do it to yourself with right hand.
(women. Kiddies, place two fingers inside her vagina, about 2 inches 5 cm deep. Place your thumb on top just at the top edge of her vagina, and every other breath, squeeze the fingers together, thumb
to meet the two fingers. Slow easy rhythmic.
If man doing it to her, just middle finger and thumb.
5. Order him to sing the ho ho song: "ho ho ho-oh, he he he-eh, I love You".
Ask him to keep going with this song throughout.
6. Then tell him to raise his feet and lower them and keep going
up and down, all the while with feet wide apart.
If he stops, use your other hand to lightly stroke the lower part
of his balls, near the anus.
If he still does not raise his legs, catch hold of both of his balls
in your hand and slowly start to squeeze.
Breath by breath, one breath, keep your hand as it is.
Next breath, a little tighter etc until he does it or step 8 happens.
(for a woman, kiddie, place your left thumb on her vagina
near the anus and your two fingers on her skin just slightly
nearer the anus, and one breath, pull a little.
Next breath stay, next breath pull a little more, next breath stay, etc,
until she raises her legs or 8 happens.
7. Then first sensitise his nipples.
Grip them firmly between your thumb and first finger,
and twist, to left on 1 breath, then to right on next breath.
When they are hard, stop and instead touch the nipple softly.
The hard nipple needs to move and so keep a light pressure
and keep rotating your finger in a circle. Keep going.
If the nipple becomes soft start again, grip, twist etc.
8. When tears come to his eyes, continue.
When also he says in clear English,
"I will do whatever it takes to love you", ask
"what about the children?" Keep going.
Then say, "if you do not keep your promise is it ok if next time
I use a scissors to cut off your right nipple?"
It does not matter what he says because if you do not do it
Lord Vishnu will.
9. If before 8 happens, he wants to go to loo, allow him
and start all over again.
10. If there are more children in the family,
they can stroke his pubic hair upwards, stroke his lips gently,
stroke gently his ear or whatever.
11. Then let him relax, stop touching him.
12. If you the woman want to be his wife, you do 1 to 11 above.
If you do not, or are not sure, you get out,
taking with you any girl child and anything of yours you want.
You have 15 minutes.
13. Once the woman has decided what she wants, you the man,
ask yourself
"do I want this woman as my wife".
If yes you proceed to get her to sit on you and you both enjoy yourselves.
14. If you the man do not want her, give her 12 hours to get out.
If it is her property you get out. Do not lie with her again.
15. If you are not sure whether you want her or not,
ask Lord Vishnu the following question:
"Dear Lord Vishnu, please kindly tell Me whether I should have
this woman as My wife and whether she needs to comply with any conditions for this to happen."
16. If the answer is yes, or
as and when she complies with those conditions,
she does 1 to 11 above and then sits on you.
Otherwise you give her 12 hours to get out,
with her property if she wants or you get out of her property.
17. If the answer is yes but there are conditions
which she has not fulfilled yet, she does 1 to 11,
but she should not sit on you.
18. After either of you have done 1 to 11 and she has not sat on you,
or even if she has, or if you are single, do 19.
19. Make yourself hard by wanking, do whatever.
If you want release (ie you will be damn crazy for it),
keep your legs outstretched, keep wanking,
and grip your buttocks and raise your bottom off the bed.

Lord Vishnu says
"this couple is now either married or single"
Oh, I say, "does this mean I scrap the foundation definition on this website,
and what about Me, I was standing?"
No He says, semen will flow when the couple sit and Your definition is just about Ok.
And you were sitting not standing, so you are married to Me.

See Recovering from Marital Preparations

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