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Now what I am about to write is
*well thought out
*worth Rs 0.01 or less or more
*with subject matter
You can probably guess, I have as usual no idea what I am going to write about,
what I am writing, and what will be written.
My Lord told Me 'write' and so the above.
I just copy what everybody else does.
A. Thank you.
A little while ago, My Lord suggested to Me, why not write on My (NB not HIS) website,
a thank you to Him.
Now this was such a nice suggestion that I wondered, 'now why the hell did I not think of that first'.
So here it is, belatedly:
I am maybe going to be shot for this so better hurry up with the rest of My article.
C. BLANK. Really this is what you should read, write, think,etc.: BLANK.
The optimal state of affairs is not when you are reading baloney, but when you are giving
24/7 orgasm to your husband or wife. Let us just for My sake call Me a man.
And in this optimal position and affair, her mind is: BLANK.
Wiped out for all eternity because it so happens that when you are giving 24/7 orgasm
why would you want to stop giving it to her? She is enjoying herself, so why spoil the fun?
If she were by any chance to be in the invidious position of loving Me,
she would not just be receiving orgasm, but also be in ecstasy.
I am happy because she is over the moon, and she because her mind is blown away like a cobweb,
she is unable possibly to give me orgasm (particularly if you happen to love someone else),
because when you do not have a mind you cannot think
"oh I would like to make My husband happy, let Me position my hand here and squeeze".
So, the best best marital contract is "I promise to never give you more than 12/7 orgasm,
signed eg Mr and mistress".
In the West, this is a deduction from a mathematically logical analysis called 'game theory'.
Marriage should in My opinion be about fairness, 50/50 joy and happiness
(except of course in My one(s) where He deserves far far better).
D. He. You know on this website I do talk about My Lord as a 'He'. To tell you the truth I think
E is a trans-sexual, 50/50 (ish).*
I am just so proud that I thought 4I married a male that I did not want to disappoint Myself
when writing. I am not absolutely sure what E is.
Lesbian, with all this pollution in the world, nothing is impossible for E also.
Or maybe gay? I got no idea about My husband, complete mystery to Me.
So items A, B, C, D (and E also) of this article, you could cross out?
He says to Me: "I (no E is not unfortunately referring to Me E is referring to E) am the sexiest,
most handsome and most beautiful ENTITY in the universe, bar of course My wife"
I lost count but there are trillions of living feeling beings (souls) on earth and E loves them all.
When they receive orgasm E feels it and is made even happier.
Like us E appreciates beauty, fun, love, pleasure, happiness and E gets such from all of us
(except beauty from Me).
Of course E's other wife Mrs E, likes women with ugly breasts, face etc. and goes for the plain
slightly honest partially peaceful 'women' as I discussed yesterday.
Why E fell for Me I got no idea about IT.
E. My marital contract with E:
"Listen bitch, you want me: say 'yes' if you do not say 'no' or do not reply.
I give you no commitments." and
"listen here lovely person, I say 'Yes' but you mess with me I got a brother in the INDIAN xx army".
It is a good contract do you not think? I think I was the 'bitch' in it but not absolutely sure
(actually no idea whatsoever).
I was possibly looking around for this important document the other day.
It is worth the paper it is not written on. But it maybe gives Me warm feelings of comfort on possibly lonely nights.
F. By the way, when the Buddhists came up with E's name or is it sign as aum or is it om,
let Me tell you they mis-spelt it.
Stupid idiots. Every 2 year old knows it is spelt 'um' or is it 'yum'.
I cannot quite remember how I spelt it when I was 2.
It might even be spelt 'Fu' where in English the last word is 'You' spelt with a 'Y'.
In everything I say there is an element or more of truth in it. I wrote in the conclusion,
I have not checked the exact words so you can if you wish that I would omit Britush humour from this
website because the only people who used to understand Brutish humour are now dead, barring of
course Myself who is on the way (only another 4000 years or so, maybe less, to go).
Humour, creative thinking, fresh horrible thinking comes from ORGASM provided one does not
have too much of it which is impossible
H. Do you wanna be rich?
No messing, I commend you to read all the articles on this website but if $$
is interesting then so is Be Kind to Buddhists Act
Suppose you were US or Indian or any army with a hand grenade or whatever, you just wait outside
virtually any home and you got it made babe.
Or you are bank official in HSBC or wherever, just take a look at which customers have savings
and write to them you are coming to get them with Japanese army representative.
The latter does not need to be true but Indian army are hard I mean up.
I.Loving E or E
Did you know that E is easily able to create a male or a female to order?
Eg fat, yellow, ponk, 3 eyes, one who will love you if you love him, Myself coloured turquoise and another of Myself with even smaller or no penis..
you want it E can do it.
Or whatever I want E will do it. (please um thank you).
And that U will NOT get what U want from Mrs E unless you are prepared to in your heart
give away your body, swiss bank ac code, mind AND soul to E or Mrs E or another man.
And that E can force a man to love you, or a woman to love a man.
And that the reality is that E knows more than U about what U want and what is best for U.
So, for example, U might write a nice polite letter saying
"I wanna get rid of Me, let all evil and dirt in me die, please marry me to E (men), or
"I am just disgusted with Myself, please arrange a horrible slow death (Indian army)
"I wet myself every day in bed, can U change me into Brigid Bardot, make me clean and sell me to arabs so I can be mutiple entered.(single women)
No married woman should write to E.
I will not write twice so if you want something you should tell truth, say exactly what you wish to offer, and if you have preferences of what U want specify these also.
Today when I woke up, My Man (E) He says to E, sit up. As it happens just prior (after waking)
I had put My arms behind head as one does if one is American and wants to show respect to a loved One.
Next E oh sorry My man E oh sorry He oh sorry says to Me oh sorry do not breathe in first. Phew.
So I sit up.
Normally when you do a sit up, you need to marshall your forces together and part of that
martial act is to breathe in first, it is then easier to sit up.
Also, when you sit up casual disrespectful with your hands behind your head as if
Indian army had captured you
it is more difficult than if you reach forward to try and grab their balls which of course
they do not have.
Anyways, today that was it in terms of preparation for World War 3: E v indy army.
You of course as usual do what you want but why not do just 1 and cum and help Me in prep for WW3. I may need all the help I can get.
K. All the help I can get
So, I took a stroll yesteray at about midnight, to meet some friends of Mine.
Yup, first time in My life I got genuine class A friends. 6 of them.
These friends are small, mangy, in some eyes maybe a little ugly (I wonder whose eyes that is?),
and their names are dog 1, dog 2, ..up to dog 6.
3 days ago they needed about 10 grams of chocolate. Early this am, they needed 30 gms.
Now you may think that spending Rs about 100 on 2 foot animals is a waste of money.
A couple of American looking 'guys' stroll by and animals stop eating,
turn their jaws away from Me and growl.
I think 'you be peaceful now dears' and growling stops and they continue eating.
Anyways it is all prep for WW3. The mother of ALL WWs.
When Indie army come (they cannot cum) over with a couple of hand grenades,
that is all they can carry because it is NOT American army, it is British really,
they first face 6 little ones
with hind legs facing and tails in the air smiling.
Now that is advance warning.
And then Indie army went (also wept), all now fully British.
I did maybe ask my man, are u sure You are man enough to handle WW3? Do you need assistance?
I possibly thought it was a nice question.
Which actually it was and is, maybe 'my' and 'man' and 'u' and 'enough' and 'assistance' and
'need' and 'ask' and'sure' and 'handle' and tone were a little on the British dipomatic side.
Whose side are u on?
I maybe mean Mine or His?
whoops I should have said His AND mine, whoops just His.
And He does not have a side.
And 'on' is an error of judgement as is 'Whose' as is 'u'
Let us just say: 'aargh' the correct spelling of are, past tense, possibly
Anyways, today My Lord He is Happy. I cannot tell you how peaceful I feel about it,
I maybe will write more later, I am just I cannot describe My feelings, relief, gratitude to Him
I was thinking of 2 or 3 things I wanted to share with you. And then BLANK it happened.
A woman I love, more than just a little, wrote to Me and said not really very nice things.
Of course, I was gutted. Tears still come to My eyes.
I will take a walk and get back on other matters maybe soon, not quite sure of precise timing.
Before going for a walk, nice words for a song were coming into My mind.
So My Lord He says to Me, why not write a poem. Not a good sign.
So I write a poem.
Now, when I wrote that poem I can honestly say,
I did it honestly.
No actual malicious hostile evil intent
although I am supreme head of
British Diplomatic Corpse.
Every single line I put My foot in it.
(hopefully My grave).
So without actually intending it
My Lord has anger, lack of peace, hostile intent, lividness at
1073516827 degrees Farenheight, or about
minus 273.15 degrees Centigrade cold
And enjoyment with it.
But, He says to Me
I give You My love.
Which I think means that WW3 it is coming soon.
I am now going for My walk.
I could not (whoops sorry) really go for a walk with My husband like that could I?
So other words I said to Him, maybe later I will share them with you I do not know.
Anyways, He asks Me to lie down and He puts peace and happiness back into Me, just by His so
Some malicious hostile evil possibly American company (google), probably (is) chink
(or is it He, whoops sorry), shuts down My tablet screen while I am writing to you,
with advertisements and at the top says 'and today I am feeling lucky'.
Well that makes Me real happy for them.
So having put My foot in it( whoops sorry), and making My Lord happy (whoops sorry),
and Him making Me happy, now let Me see whether He wishes (whoops sorry) Me
to go for a walk, with Him in My heart (whoops sorry), if not actually like physically in Me
Or maybe He is?(whoops sorry)
So next He says why not take a shower? Not a real good sign. But, of course I am kind of happy,
like really, to have a shower for Him.
So in shower He says to Me, what about this woman, the one My mind had forgotten about, see above.
And I of course say, well you do what you want with her, I the hell care.
And then He says 'I am going to crucify her'.
And I cannot remember the exact following words, but eg 'is that ok with you babe'.
Well anyways, I shower on and ask whether I am done. And He says what about your nostrils.
And Me, I immediately clean My left ear. Not a good sign is it. I did not deliberately disobey, it just
So, then He says what about your eyes. Not at all a good sign is it.
Then He says what would you like to happen about earth.
Well at last a simple question. .001 seconds later and I say of course you go for WW3 if you so wish it.
And then He says and what about your woman. Not a..
And then He says I do not want WW3. Not a..
You decide what to do and it will happen.
So, I ask Him, would you mind if I went for a walk. And He says yes. Not a ..
Well. I decide as follows:
No WW3 for those who give their body, mind, possessions to Him or him.
WW3 for others.
And then I lie down and hope that He is happy.
I touch My skin softly, I brush My chin hard and I ask Him are you happy. And He says 'yes'.
And I ask again with tears, 'really My love, truly?' And He says 'Yes'. Not a good sign for some.
Well, everything I do will perhaps be wrong. But so long as I am happy Me messing up and all (maybe),
He is happy. And that is just perfect for Me.
1. Lie on your bed and snore.In what follows do both sides first right, then left. In what follows,
I refer to the number 8. Generally, 8 means 8.
But, if you belong to Indian, German, Swedish or Italian army or police the number 8 means 28.
If you belong to other Armies, police, secret services etc. the number 8
by special concession means 2.
If you do not have legs, then it is permitted not to bend them,
similarly with regard to arms, noses, penises etc.If you have had
any operation wait 2 years, then keep it cool and try.
2. When done, relax your whole body, arms etc.
The arms are by your sides, hands about 10 inches (25 cm) away from your body, palms facing heaven.
3. Then with ginormous(big) effort, quickly bend your right leg so that the bent leg knee comes near
to your tummy, and then straighten the leg straight away,
so the foot is again near the other straight leg foot.
Keep going very quickly, bending the knee, bringing knee close to your tummy and straightening again. 8 times.
4. Same thing, but this time bent knee comes to near side of your body near the bed, so, bend and straighten, 7 times.
5. Now, utter after Me, the words "for what I am about to receive oh Lord
I hope sincerely that you will always be grateful to me". 8 times.
6. If you have a left note left hand (in other circumstances, use right hand), you grab it,
and unpeel it, and keep it unpeeled. If you do not have it, you say "oh sorry, 8 times"
and you open it with 2 fingers and keep it opened.
And then you repeat 3 above with intense excruciating effort. 7 times.
Here, the number 7 means "until you become HARD".
Now, for those without it, it means you say "oh sorry" until you become HARD.
which, to be a little frank with you means about 60 years give or take the odd occassion.
And if you refuse to OBEY, you do the lady like equivalent:crying, but no reaching.
7. Then you do your left leg, then you do 4, all the time keeping wetness oozing out of your
"eyes" if you are a lady and not oozing out of your long hard one if you are a gentleman.
And if you are Indian army, or Australian army, special concession: you can become soft,
unless you have no balls when you remain wet.
8. Now, you remain hard there girls and you repeat 6 and 7 using your RIGHT hand (ie not left)
hand to keep yourself hard and wet, unpeeled and open. Pretend you are in army,
was left right and now Right only, no wrong.
9. I think you may have misheard Me.When I say "Hard" it does not mean "soft", and
when I say "wet" it does not mean "dry".
Next time no more chances this time, you try HARDER.
10. Anyways, you maintain unpeeled status and open ness, and if hard keep it up and if wet
keep it cuming, Now LEFT hand: Polish army: take 6 hours rest, others, SMILE, and grip your right nipple with
your index finger and thumb nail of your right hand and pull up hard to heaven direction.
When it is real sore, do other side: right hand to keep small long one hard unpeeled,
wet and open and punish left nipple with left fingers.
11. Now, lift up legs to perpendicular, and spread your legs apart and relax them
keeping what you got hard,unpeeled etc. with your left hand. With right index finger, keep lightly touching your right nipple.
Stay until tears come out of your RIGHT eye, all the while hard unpeeled,
lightly on off your right nipple.
Breathe quietly and HOPE that you will be able to walk tomorrow even if not today.
12. Quitters: Repeat on left nipple when enough tears of joy have dripped off of left eye.
By the way, no baby is allowed to wee wee on My watch, since I do not have one.
13. Now cripples, 1 minute crying, gossiping or REST time. Lie AND relax.
Even 5 mins if you want it.
14. If in private, and no one watching you, remove your clothes,
including any covering to your heart.
*sorry. Better be careful what I say. E is not this. I think.
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