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38 Best Nudist Beaches in the World

A beautiful beach, how do you define that?

Here is My definition of what constitutes a beautiful beach, 30 different aspects:

1 Sun shining during the day so warm weather, not like in Iceland, not sweltering hot like Calcutta or Mecca
2 Water warm not covered with ice etc.
3 No hurricane force gusts of air, more like a cool breeze
4 Beaches are quiet except for the noisy but not too noisy subtle waves
5 Accessible by car or foot or train, not just by private jet or boat
6 Few dogs being walked or walking their owners
7 Some vendors prepared to give you delicacies when you get hungry or thirtsty on the beach, not too many
8 Not too many fisherman, boats,..interfering with your swimming rights
9 Some nearby cafes and restaurants
10 Not too many surfers ready to kill and maim you
11 Not much of a fishy smell, not a fishing village
12 Not too much shit in the water, plastic bags etc.
13 Pristine sandy beaches accessible easily without needing to climb and descend mountains, cliffs etc.
14 Water colour, eg crystal blue or turquoise, emerald green, not yellow
15 Water clear, not muddy
16 Not too many jelly fish, sharks etc.
17 Colour of sand: pure white, pink, golden
18 Most important, plenty of deck chairs so you do not get your body dirty in the sand
19 Tides not a problem
20 Sand is soft, not like rock, not wet like a woman, warm not hot
21 Not too many crabs etc. crawling over you
22 Waves gentle not 10 foot high
23 Not too many eddies etc. to kill you
24 Plenty of young pretty women in bikinis or topless, tanned etc.
25 Beaches flat, not steep to the sea, no steep descent to the sand
26 Nice coastline
27 Not Malibu, California
28 No people having barbeques on beach or roasting smelly French food
29 Not Cayo Costa, Florida
30 No MacDonalds nearby

Next, we turn to the subject of 'Nudist'. A VERY important subject.
Starting from when I next visit a beach, ALL beaches in the world MAY be nudist for rude people, barring wives, girlfriends, mistresses etc. of Mine.
Here is a list of the best soon to be nudist beaches in the world, notice how Kerala and Goa beaches are right at the top of the list.

(However, you should avoid coming to Kerala from 25/9/17 until further notice because Mr Modi has put cyanide in the water and milk supply).

1 Deadman S. Beach, Peter Island, British Virgin Islands
2 Dorado Beach, Puerto Rico
3 Chavakkad Beach, Thrissur, Kerala, India
4 Patnem, Goa, India
5 Noosa Beach, Queensland, Australia
6 Kottayam Beach, Kerala, India
7 Agonda, Goa, India
8 Pelican Point, Half Moon Bay, California
9 St. Ives, Cornwall
10 Playa Redondo, Lima, Peru
11 Boracay White Beach, Philippines
12 Muzhappilangad beach, Kannur, Kerala, India
13 Kappil Beach, Kerala, India
14 Anjuna, Goa, India
15 Kollam (Quilon) Beach, Kerala, India
16 Cala Goloritz�, Sardinia
17 Snehatheeram Beach, Thrissur, Kerala, India
18 Whitehaven Beach, Whitsundays, Australia
19 Santa Cruz, California
20 Steps Beach, Nantucket
21 Malibu, California
22 Blue Lagoon, �l�deniz, Turkey
23 Ocean House Beach, Rhode Island
24 Sayulita, Mexico
25 Mandhvi Beach, Gujarat, India
26 Imsouane Plage, Morocco
27 Jamaica Inn Beach, Ocho Rios, Jamaica
28 Six Senses Zil Pasyon, Seychelles
29 Curtain Bluff, Antigua
30 Sugar Beach, St. Lucia
31 Byron Bay, New South Wales, Australia
32 Butterfly Beach, Santa Barbara
33 Astoria, Orgeon
34 Horseshoe Bay, Bermuda
35 South Beach, Miami, USA
36 Tulum, Mexico
37 Cayo Costa, Florida
38 Horseshoe Bay Beach, Matangi Island, Bahamas

By the way when I say 'nudist', bad behaviour is forbidden, for example:

This is acceptable behaviour:

This is unacceptable behaviour:

A necklace is acceptable, providing that it does not cover the breasts:

This is acceptable behaviour:

This is acceptable covering of the breasts:

This is acceptable behaviour when first going onto a beach area:

This is unacceptable behaviour:

So, having defined 'best', and 'nudist', we next need to define what I mean by 'beach'.
Usually, people define 'beach' as an area of sand or small stones adjacent to the sea or another area of water such as a lake
Not too bad, but I extend the definition to include dwelling units, hotel rooms and such like within 1 kilometre of the shoreline.

The article Best Holidays in the World is useful in the context of deciding which beach to go to.

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